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Matsumoto sighed; once again her captain had yelled at her for drinking sake in the middle of the day. He was pretty pissed and Matsumoto felt like she was shrinking while her captain kept getting louder and louder. He had given her an ultimatum, stop drinking while she was on the job or don’t show her face until she was sober.

So what was poor Rangiku Matsumoto supposed to do? Stop drinking… Pffft as if… Hmm, sake is more or less transparent. She could transfer it over to water bottles and say she started drinking water, yeah that could work, and the captain wouldn’t notice a thing, right? Right?

=============

It was a week later and Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya stretched as he finished the last set of paperwork. Man, was he thirsty. He looked around to see what he could find. His eyes fell on one of the water bottles Matsumoto had started drinking from since he banned sake in his office.

‘She won’t mind if I drink some,’ he thought and took a BIG sip from the bottle.

‘Hmm, interesting taste,’ he mused.

Must be some sort of bubble water or something. He took one more helping and suddenly started to snicker, bubble water that’s funny. Maybe he should go and see if he could find someone to tell that joke to, yeah, that’s a good idea.

And with that, he walked out of his office trying to find someone to tell his joke to. After a few minutes of walking, he had forgotten the bubble water joke but found a butterfly.

“Oooooh pwetty,” he said and reached out for it, tripping as he watched the butterfly flying away.

“Stupid butterfly,” he said sniffing and rubbing his arm.

He wanted to go home to mommy and tell her about the stupid butterfly… but where was mommy? He looked around and decided to walk to find home and mommy.

After a while, he saw a woman who had seen him too. He knew her from somewhere… kind, gentle… who was she again?

Retsu Unohana smiled her always polite smile as she saw Captain Hitsugaya standing a few feet from her, looking at her curiously.

“Yes, Captain Hitsugaya, is there something I can do for you?”

He bounced from his toes to his heels as if he had problems with his balance. Then he smiled a big boyish smile, held out his arms and ran over to hug her.

“MOMMY, I FOUND YOU!”

Retsu Unohana blinked. Mommy? She looked down to her fellow captain who was hugging her body like a little boy who had found his way home after being lost and decided to play along until she figured out what was happening.

Now how to handle this? She stroked his head gently, making him feel at ease and at the same time felt his brow. No fever, so that was out.

“Why don’t we go inside and get you some food?” Unohana suggested.

Hitsugaya jumped back from her hug and smiled. “Watermelons?”

Unohana thought about it and thought she remembered that Isane had some from a failed attempt to make her sister eat more fruit.

“I think that could be ok, dear.”

“YAY,” said Hitsugaya and nearly dragged Unohana into the 4th squad’s barracks.

But Unohana frowned. She could have sworn Hitsugaya smelled like sake. Inside, Unohana led Hitsugaya to her office.

“Now, you be a good boy and sit here and I’ll get you some watermelons, ok, captain?”

“Why are you calling me captain, mommy? What happened to Shiro-chan? Are you mad?”

“Of course not, Shiro-chan. Mommy has just had a long day. Now stay put.”

Once outside, Unohana sighed. Thank god it was late and that nearly everyone had gone home.

“Isane,” she called gently.

“Yes, Captain Unohana,” Isane responded, appearing at her side.

“Captain Hitsugaya is inside my office. I think he’s drunk. He asked for watermelons, do you think you can get some?”

Isane blinked at the straight tone in the absurd message Unohana had just given her but she nodded nonetheless.

“Of course, captain.”

“Then get someone to send a message to Lieutenant Rangiku Matsumoto telling her I want to talk to her. Could you do that, Isane?”

“Of course,” Isane said, running to perform said tasks.

Unohana sighed and took a deep breath before entering her office again.

“No watermelon?” Hitsugaya asked a bit sadly.

“Isa… errrr Auntie Isane will be here with them soon.”

“YAY,” Hitsugaya said, snuggling up to Unohana as she sat down.

“Well...” Unohana started, ‘I better phrase this right’, “Well then Shiro-chan, what have you done today?”

Hitsugaya looked like he was deep in thought.

“Well I drank some funny bubble water (‘Aha, there we are,’ Unohana thought quietly to herself) Then I went for a walk and then I saw this pretty butterfly.”

“Oh, really?” Unohana said, being her friendly self while trying to figure out how dead Matsumoto was going to be tomorrow when Hitsugaya got sober.

“Yeah, but when I reached out to get it, I fell and got a boo boo.” Hitsugaya showed Unohana his arm, which had only gotten a bit red. “Mommy, kiss and make it better?”

Unohana smiled. ‘Poor innocent Hitsugaya.’ she thought and bent down and kissed Hitsugaya´s arm.

Then the door opened and Isane came in carrying a tray of watermelon boats.

“YAY FOR AUNTIE ISANE,” Hitsugaya exclaimed and rushed up to eat.

Isane blinked and looked over at Unohana.

“Auntie Isane,” she mouthed.

Unohana just smiled.

“Did you find Matsumoto?”

“Drunk at a bar, apparently she is on her 20th bottle of sake.”

“Well then, Hitsugaya has to sleep here tonight.” Unohana looked at the clock on her wall. 22:40. she looked over at Hitsugaya yawning between the bites of melon.

“All right, young man, time for bed.”

Hitsugaya was too tired to complain. She led him to a bed and helped him take off his captain’s coat, shoes and socks. Luckily, Hitsugaya had left his Zanpakuto in his office.

Hitsugaya yawned as Unohana tucked him in for the night and he smiled and muttered, “Mommy, sing a good night song?”

Unohana and Isane shared looks. Unohana sighed. She only knew one song, one she learned while at the academy centuries ago, but it was a soothing one.

“Of course Shiro-chan, but then I need you to sleep.”

Hitsugaya nodded and Unohana started to sing

Wounded and fallen ones
At the very least
Be embraced
By love in dreams
Rest on warm chest
Good night

The morning is gentle
It does not wait for you
Always turbulent
It comes walking to you
Tomorrow we’ll try
To protect each other
Even though
It may not be possible
That is fighting to live
It is our fate

Shake fallen ones
At the very least
Be embraced
By love in dreams
Be embraced
By memories of
Being in the cradle
Good night

The morning is gentle
It does not wait for you
Always restless
It comes
Tomorrow, who will be the enemy?
Who will be one’s ally?
There is no way to know right?
That is fighting to live
It is our fate

Wounded and fallen ones
At the very least
Be embraced
By love in dreams
Good night

By the end of her song, Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya was fast asleep. Isane and Unohana had to smile as he started to gently suck his thumb.

“Let him get some sleep,” Unohana said as she and Isane rose to walk outside.

“Man,” Isane said smiling, “I do not envy Rangiku Matsumoto when Captain Hitsugaya meets her tomorrow.”

“Neither do I,” Unohana said smiling. “But that is up to captain Hitsugaya to deal with.”

=================

Hitsugaya groaned as he sat up in a bed… not his though, where was he.

“Ah, awake then, Captain Hitsugaya?”

He turned to face Captain Unohana. “Captain? How did I end up in squad 4’s quarters?”

Unohana smiled. “Well my dear captain, do you want the whole truth or do you want the summary?”

“The whole truth please. I hate not knowing the details,” Hitsugaya said.

“Very well,” Unohana said and closed the door.

Hitsugaya gulped, not liking the smile on Unohana´s face, almost like she was trying not to laugh.

“Well, from what I gathered from you yesterday, you drank some of Matsumoto’s sake thinking it was bubble water. Then you went for a walk and ended up in front of my squad hugging me and calling me mommy.”

Hitsugaya groaned in response.

“Then I took you in to get you some food and to shield you from any persons that walked by and you thanked your Auntie Isane for some watermelons. I had asked Matsumoto to come to get you but she was out drunk at some bar so I let you stay here. All you wanted was a lullaby and you have been sleeping ever since… occasionally sucking your thumb.”

There was no denying it, there where definitely amusement in her tone.

“Nothing else then?” He asked sarcastically.

“Well you said you had run after a butterfly, tripped and got a boo boo and made me kiss it all better, but otherwise, no.”

Hitsugaya groaned again. He was going to KILL Matsumoto. “Then can I go?”

Unohana smiled. “Of course, but here is a potion, in case you get a bad case of a hangover… or you can give it to Matsumoto. I am in no doubt she will have a hangover after you are done talking to her.”

Hitsugaya got his clothes and the potion and quickly shunpo´d out of Squad 4 and ended up back at Squad 10. Inside, his lieutenant was rubbing her temples trying to do some overdue paperwork.

“Matsumoto,” he began calmly, making her turn to him.

“Yes, Captain.”

Hitsugaya smiled evilly. “We need to talk…”
I was bored, sue me. I got this idea after seeing a cosplay video on youtube of two Matsumoto´s forcing Hitsugaya to drink exclaiming, he’s a genius he can take it. So I though what would happen if Hitsugaya for some reason got drunk. Pretty funny in my opinion. Is planned to just be a one shot unless you want me to continue.

So yeah if you want this to continue just lave a comment, all I need is 1 review and I’ll make a new chappie. That being said, the song Unohana song is from the third Bleach musical, No clouds in the blue heavens. It’s Unohana that sings it and I think it’s a wery good song. Here are the links to the cosplay video that inspired this little one – shot as well as to Unohana´s song (remove in betweens)

http:// youtube. com/ watch?v= pRN-EYsduDM

http:// youtube.com / watch?v= gbCZQDjmWKA

LASTLY I DO NOT OWN BLEACH. I barely own this fic
Add a Comment:
 
:iconnevermoremist:
Nevermoremist Featured By Owner 1 day ago
Oh this is too adorably hilarious (^-^) instant fav
Reply
:iconbookworm101012:
bookworm101012 Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
i love it made me laugh so much :'D
Reply
:iconwarriorcrystalheart:
WarriorCrystalheart Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2013
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
I love the end LOL LOL

I don't know who to feel sorry for
Reply
:iconhitsugayatoshirofan:
HitsugayaToshiroFan Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2013
its great!
Reply
:iconhollowchief:
hollowchief Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012
lol pretty good
Reply
:iconkittypetro:
kittypetro Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2012  Student General Artist
thnx
Reply
:iconcrimsonrose12:
crimsonrose12 Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2012
oh my gosh I LOVE IT. i was laughing all through out it.
Reply
:iconkittypetro:
kittypetro Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2012  Student General Artist
thank you
Reply
:iconstoryofagirlgonebi:
StoryOfAGirlGoneBi Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
this is so good.i love how he retained his inner child and it comes out when he is drunk.i hope you make more.
Reply
:iconkittypetro:
kittypetro Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2012  Student General Artist
try reading the sequel Matsumoto's punishment
Reply
:iconakihua:
akihua Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012  Hobbyist
Cuteness overload!!!
Reply
:iconrenna-rei:
Renna-Rei Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2012
it was so cute
Reply
:iconkittypetro:
kittypetro Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2012  Student General Artist
thank you
Reply
:iconrenna-rei:
Renna-Rei Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2012
no prob always wondered how he would act drunk
Reply
:iconmegara911:
Megara911 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2012  Student Writer
Lol was laughing my head of and was thinking "Matsumoto is so gonna be dead by the end of this" lol great story :D
Reply
:iconsweetmusicofsolstace:
sweetmusicofsolstace Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2012
First great story! and second i listened to unohana's song and wow really soothing! it KOed me in no time!
Reply
:iconkittypetro:
kittypetro Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2012  Student General Artist
thank you
Reply
:iconsweetmusicofsolstace:
sweetmusicofsolstace Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2012
any time!
Reply
:iconsilvermidnightstars:
SilverMidnightStars Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2012
8DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Reply
:iconkittypetro:
kittypetro Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2012  Student General Artist
wow, thanks for all the faves :)
Reply
:iconsilvermidnightstars:
SilverMidnightStars Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2012
you're welcome
:3
Reply
:iconsiouxstar:
Siouxstar Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm totally gonna feature this in my journal, and the sequel too.^^
Reply
:iconkittypetro:
kittypetro Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2011  Student General Artist
thank you... I'm planning to make a comic version as soon as I get my creative juices started
Reply
:iconsiouxstar:
Siouxstar Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
That'd be awesome!
Reply
:iconmissmoolar:
missmoolar Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2011  Student Digital Artist
hahahahah i am laffing mi arse offff

--------------------------

manga is my crack

if you have ever gone all alchemist on a tree say that once a day

TEEHEE
Reply
:iconnom-rawr:
NOM-RAWR Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2011
LAWLZZ.
That was pretty amusing :)
Thanks for making me laugh today.
Reply
:iconsakurahitsuguya97:
SakuraHitsuguya97 Featured By Owner May 31, 2011
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! That is hilarious!!
Reply
:icondragonridersdestiny:
DragonRidersDestiny Featured By Owner May 19, 2011
Omg this was amazing!!! I am a major Shiro-fangirl and this was great! :D
Reply
:iconhitsugayatoushiro10:
HitsugayaToushiro10 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:lol: This is hilarious!!! You have a very creative mind to write something this original and funny ^^ Good job!
Reply
:iconkidatecalf:
KidateCalf Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2011  Student Digital Artist
:lmao: Brilliant!
Reply
:iconkittypetro:
kittypetro Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2011  Student General Artist
thnx
Reply
:iconasdarklover:
asdarklover Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This was such a funny fic! Hitsugaya is cute drunk lol.
Reply
:iconjeagerjaqueslover101:
JeagerjaquesLover101 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2011  Student General Artist
LOL I LOVE THIS!!!!! I always wondered what Hitsyugaya was like drunk...
Reply
:iconrosegroheimer:
RoseGroheimer Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
love it alot keep it up!! :D
Reply
:iconwhiterose810:
WhiteRose810 Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2011
Ohh i soo wanna hear what Hitsugaya would yell at Matsumoto.(poor Matsumoto) :D i laughed SO hard my cat got scared at one point, keep up these stories :D
Reply
:iconkittypetro:
kittypetro Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2011  Student General Artist
the sequel Hitsugaya's revenge is up, feel free to read it too :)
Reply
:iconsayaandhagi4ever:
Sayaandhagi4ever Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2011
Too funny! :D

Kind of cute too! :D

Please continue this! :D
Reply
:iconkittypetro:
kittypetro Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2011  Student General Artist
I have, read Hitsugaya's revenge
Reply
:iconsoifonsuzambachi:
SoiFonSuzambachi Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2011
LOL rangikus dead meat now
Reply
:iconlilmich:
lilmich Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2010
tht is awesome!! ^_^
Reply
:iconkittypetro:
kittypetro Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2010  Student General Artist
thank you
Reply
:iconlilmich:
lilmich Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2010
nps ^_^
Reply
:iconteddy172:
teddy172 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2010
i need more NEXT CHAPTER ...pweeeze
Reply
:iconkittypetro:
kittypetro Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2010  Student General Artist
read the sequel Hitsugaya's revenge
Reply
:iconteddy172:
teddy172 Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2010
thanks i will
Reply
:iconfinalfatality7:
FinalFatality7 Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2010
I wonder what would have happened if he had met someone else while drunk? It would have been a complete and total disaster...
Reply
:iconmoonchild55:
MoonChild55 Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Lolz :D I always wondered what would happen if he got drunk. Now I know.... :3
Reply
:iconeighteenda:
eighteenda Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2010
excuse me. i tried reading this, but the literature did not pop up... DX
i was wondering if there was some way you could send it to me or if this is on another site like LJ..?
Reply
:iconkittypetro:
kittypetro Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2010  Student General Artist
it's on fanfiction.net too
Reply
:iconkikyo-10:
Kikyo-10 Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2010
That was......AWESOME!! You have GOT to continue! Please!!
Reply
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